Loss of dignity

My mum was a proud and independent woman. For her, the loss of dignity whilst at Ashlands was almost worse than the physical neglect:

• Slops and spillages. On almost every visit to my mum, it was possible to read the day’s menu from the dried food and spillages on her clothes. In what now seems a typical Prime Life manner, every table in the dining hall was identical (presumably due to bulk buy discounts)–and none of them were high enough to allow my mum’s bog standard wheel chair to be tucked under the table. Because she also had to support herself with her left arm to stay upright, this meant her plate was an arm’s length away and she could only feed herself with a fork. The result was obvious and completely predictable (as well as easily preventable): she regularly spilled food down her front. Here’s what staff could have done:

o   Wipe off spilled food before it dried.

o   Provide an apron or napkin

o   Raise the table by just a couple of inches—so my mum’s wheelchair would go under the table (which is what was done in less than 24 hours of her move to a new home)

None of these are rocket science–and the staff at Ashlands did nothing

• Forced to wear her nightie in public! It may now be acceptable—even fashionable—to spend part of your day in your pyjamas. Especially if you’re under 30. But my mum was 90,when being seen in your nightie or pyjamas was condidered strictly unacceptable-even a sign of moral decay!! Remember, she was born in 1923 and only missed being a Victorian by 25 years. So imagine what it felt like when she was paraded in public areas, in her wheelchair, wearing just her nightie (and one that was covered in food stains by the end of the day. Over the course of a week, staff at Ashlands managed to ‘lose’ all 10 pairs of my mother’s trousers (put in other people’s rooms, despite being clearly labelled). The staff responsible for dressing her each morning don’t seem to have been bothered by the fact that the stock of trousers were rapidly disappearing. When they had all vanished, the members of staff who dressed her didn’t bother to find a replacement pair–she was simply taken downstairs in her nightie and spent the rest of the day in this state, in front of her fellow residents. Embarrassing. Humiliating. Disgraceful treatment.